Najeeba, age nine, lives in a mud house by in rural Khost, Afghanistan. Each day at 8am, she travels by bus or on foot which takes her over two hours to the nearest city to work as a shoe polisher on the streets, earning a mere 120 Afghanis ($ 1.70 USD) per day. After her father’s demise three years ago, she is the sole breadwinner for her mother, grandmother, and six siblings.
Najeeba is one of many Afghan girls living as a bacha posh, which allows her to bypass the rigid gender rules enforced by the Taliban to support her family. “Bacha posh”, translated from Dari, means “dressed up as a boy”, and refers to an ancient tradition and cultural practice in Afghanistan that allows families to temporarily treat a prepubescent daughter as a son. The girls wear their hair short, dress as boys, and are given a new name. The reasons to have a bacha posh are varied. Some families, especially those without sons, believe that making a daughter live as a boy ensures the birth of a male child. While others, such as Najeeba’s, where there is no male earning member, take this step for financial and economic reasons.
After her father’s tragic death while working in a deep water well, the family relied on livestock for survival until widespread disease in their province last year killed their cows. At nine years old, Najeeba finds herself providing for her family as the head of a household would. She wakes up every day, puts on clothing meant for boys, dons a baseball cap, and makes her way into the city. On some days she is late coming home and, more often than not, her family of eight waits, not having eaten a single meal that day.
C- Two of Najeeba’s younger siblings outside their home.
R – Three of Najeeba’s siblings inside their one-room mud house.
Najeeba’s 15-year-old sister, too old to be a bacha posh, is trapped in their mud home, unable to work, study, or even step outside without a male escort. Her life is similar to the almost 19 million female population in Afghanistan currently living under the oppressive laws imposed by the Taliban. Her other siblings are too young, and Najeeba’s mother suffers from excruciating back pain, leaving only Najeeba to provide for them all. Many household items have been sold for food, leaving them with little more than the clothes on their backs. When fuel is scarce, Najeeba’s family resorts to burning grass and mountain plants to cook their meals. Overall, their mud home lacks basic necessities and offers no protection from intruders.
One has to wonder if the return of the Taliban has forced more families into participating in the bacha posh custom. “Their return has created some really ugly situations, and financially, a lot of families are in crisis. People are making choices that we wouldn’t normally want families to make”, says Afghan American author Nadia Hashimi, whose internationally best-selling masterpiece, The Pearl that Broke its Shell, explores the custom through one of the protagonists.
Although no formal studies have been conducted to provide an approximate number of families who have practiced this tradition, most Afghans are aware of at least one bacha posh in their neighbourhoods. “If I speak to anyone born and raised in Afghanistan, they may know of at least one bacha posh or have heard of one. People used to ask me over the years when this tradition will go away, and I used to say it’s an economic tool, one that enables a household to be a little more secure financially, so when the fundamental economic value of a girl changes, then this practice will be outdated and useless. And Afghanistan was on track for that because we had so many more girls going to school, so many women working in all sectors”, says Hashimi.
Nadia’s insights highlight the complexities of this custom which, while problematic, serves as a vital economic lifeline for many households and “gives girls the right to navigate society a bit more freely.” Yet, with no formal studies, the true impact of this practice on Afghan girls is unknown. Najeeba was pulled out of school after grade two, and at too young an age, she shoulders a responsibility that already makes her look older than her nine years. When asked what she would like to do under different circumstances, her eyes light up with a desire to return to school and pursue a career in medicine. “I will treat my mother first because she suffers from a lot of back pain”, says Najeeba. Her mother expresses a desire to educate all her children, provided they are financially stable.
R – The kitchen, devoid of most cooking utensils, which have been sold for money.
Najeeba’s story is one of many in Afghanistan that don’t make it to mainstream media. It serves as a heartbreaking reminder of the unseen struggles faced by Afghan girls living under the Taliban rule. The devastating reality enforced by this regime on millions of Afghan women and girls is not only depriving them of their right to education, work, and self-reliance, but has also led to an increase in child marriages for girls. Families have been pushed into extreme poverty, and children, robbed of their childhood, are worn down fulfilling responsibilities meant for adults. Widows without male support are among the most severely affected.
While most of us cannot fully comprehend or understand the daily reality of Afghan women and girls, we must try. For the sake of the journalists, doctors, entrepreneurs, teachers, artists, writers, and lawyers currently confined within the walls of their homes, and for girls like Najeeba, who disguise themselves as boys to work and dream of one day becoming doctors and more.
I would like to extend my deepest gratitude to Afghan journalist Hewad Watandar (pen name) for his invaluable assistance. He facilitated my conversation with Najeeba and her family and brought their dire living conditions to my attention. Moved by their story, I am raising funds to provide essential necessities, such as food and new livestock, to help them regain a livelihood. In collaboration with the Hope and Kindness Afghanistan Organization, our goal is to help Najeeba and her siblings return to school. Your support can make a real difference—please consider contributing to give this family hope and a chance for a better future.
Donation Link – Please specify the donation is for Najeeba.
You can read more about Shikha’s work for Afghan women and children HERE and HERE. To stay updated on her many initiatives for women in Afghanistan please follow her Instagram account.
Very well written article👍🏻
Thank you so much for reading, Puja.
A heart-wrenching, beautiful glimpse into this family. Thank you for sharing.
Thank you so much for reading, Katie.
Such a well written piece of work.
Thank you so much for reading, Karishma.
Thank you for telling Najeeba’s story. What a brave little girl, and what a responsibility she bears! I’m confident your words will be able to help Najeeba and her family in some way. Keep writing these truths Shikha!
Thank you so much for reading, sharing and donating, Maureen. So grateful for all your support.