When we are inundated with stories from other people’s lives, often filtered to depict only the best, it makes us compare ourselves to them and believe that we are lesser, or simply not good enough. Thus, it is essential to build the muscle to super charge your self-esteem.
Self-esteem is the core value you give yourself. It is internal awareness of who you are and how you fit into this world. It’s more than just recognising positive qualities – self-esteem is an attitude of ‘no judgment’ towards the self and the capacity to accept one’s self.
Given the endless demands and expectations in our daily lives, there are times we fall short and worry about not making progress. We are critical of ourselves – wishing we had better looking bodies, better relationships, better jobs, better everything.
We complain about wanting to do something more amazing to be more like those fabulous people on social media. There’s a feeling of shame and guilt for not being good enough or as perfect in comparison. And with it, the expectation that all through these attacks on the self, we should appear calm and collected, smiling and successful.
It’s how we are wired from childhood to prove our worth – to be better than the best, to compare and aspire, and believe that we have to be perfect at everything. We enter a virtual battlefield where our self-esteem gets bashed as we are criticised, bullied, manipulated, and hated – not by others, but by our own selves.
An important fact we seem to have forgotten is that we are flawed human beings. We are not meant to lead perfect lives, have robotic levels of perfectionism, or fit into a body shape. Each one of us is unique and possesses a different set of skills and talents to contribute to society in our own distinctive and creative ways.
Considering that our hyper-connected and competitive environment tests our inner strength in facing obstacles, super charging our self-esteem is a must to get through each day without deflating ourselves. So, here are some ways to super charge your self-esteem.
Three tips to strengthen self-esteem
- Keep a lid on the inner critic
We all have an inner voice that very often spills out negative commentary on what we are doing, and the judgements are harsh and undesirable. The best way to deal with this inner voice is to question it, and ask – ‘why?’ Another way is to ask yourself if you would speak to a friend in the same harsh manner – you would never do it, so why do it yourself? So, be a friend rather than a foe to yourself.
- You are Good Enough
We often compare ourselves to others and feel we are not good enough. We seldom appreciate our achievements or internalise praise. We do our best but still feel it is not good enough. This is where the respect factor comes up. We have a set of skills and a uniqueness that we contribute to this world. It is time to journal all those achievements – the accolades as well as the personal challenges we have overcome. Write them down every night before you sleep. Pat yourself on the back for doing so much, and so well. Remember you are good enough as you are.
- Courage to face fear
Often, we want to fit in because it’s easier than standing out. We are afraid to dip our toe into new waters or try new ideas. In every situation, if we can assess our capabilities and experiences, we can tap into our potential. It will surprise you how much more you can achieve. All you need is to take that one step in that direction.
Remember this crucial fact – every achievement boosts our self-esteem, which in turn gives us the confidence to pursue higher goals. If we can change the way we talk to ourselves and think about ourselves – it will determine the way we act in the future. And the time to make that commitment to yourself is Now.