One of the most extraordinary things about being human is our capacity to feel. You may not think that when you are in the depths of sadness, pain, or angst; or, when you are so enraged and angry that you wish to hit or lash out. The truth is, our feelings are actually what makes us feel human and feel alive.
Feelings help us to make sense of the world we live in, allow us to explore ourselves on a deeper inner level, open us to connect and relate more intimately with others.
Through awareness and understanding of how we feel, we can attain a level of mastery of self and of our mental and emotional nature. We can develop a deeper sense of inner peace and come into greater balance.
When I started my journey of self-actualisation and spirituality some 24 years ago, I was trying to make sense of all the pain and suffering I found myself in.
It was easier for me to suppress and deny my true feelings rather than confront them because of an overwhelming fear that the feelings would be too much to bear, too much to handle. As a deeply sensitive soul, I was already feeling A LOT, having ‘more’ to deal with would throw me over the edge – or so I thought.
Yet it was through major life events – the death of both my parents and leaving my home country of England to live in Hong Kong – that were to be the catalysts that lead to change.
I tried to deny and hide my feelings, numbing them with alcohol, controlling them with a food disorder and distracting myself by seeking love and connection from others for external validation. Keeping my feelings bottled up inside, eventually led me to poor physical, mental and emotional health.
I became depressed and felt totally isolated, I had hit rock bottom. The self-preservation and defence mechanisms I had built up and held so tightly in place came crashing down. For me to carry on, I needed to face how I felt, and not project or blame my feelings on others. To finally deal with all the pain I had buried for so long, to heal, and so, I did.
Through using various practices, I started to confront my feelings and pain. Sitting in a meditative space with sounds of nature, deep breathing and using guided visualisation helped to calm my mind and settle my frayed and frazzled nervous system. Alcohol was replaced by journaling and writing my feelings down when I was stressed –a cathartic way to release what was really going on inside my busy head and a heavy heart. Instead of holding in and controlling myself, I started to share how I felt with a person I trusted. This was unusual for me – I was often the one that others turned to with their problems. Helping others had been a perfect way for me to avoid my own inner pain. Through sharing, I started to take responsibility for how I felt and to fully ‘feel’ my feelings. It was so healing and therapeutic to talk to someone about ME: and made me realise deep inside that I was also worthy of being listened to and could be liked and loved, and be deserving of time and attention.
I learned various energy healing methods and saw energy healers to help shift the energy blockages I had. Discovering more about my soul, the wounds I had been carrying, and confronting my suppressed feelings was a way for me to heal and move forward.
Your feelings and emotions are a great access point to know YOU on a deeper level, helping us discover our deepest longings, wishes and inner fulfilments. They heal and lead to deep transformation and transcendence to our core selves.
How to accept your feelings:
- Take some deep breaths and close your eyes. ‘Drop’ your attention into yourself, inside your body. How do you feel? Acknowledge it and say, “I accept how I feel”.
- When your feelings are triggered by someone or something, take responsibility for your reactions. Close your eyes and tune into your body, and say, “I accept how I feel.”
- If you can label the feeling, say, “I accept this (sadness, anger, loss, irritation, resentment, grief, or whatever is the feeling).”
- Repeat the words and feel yourself drop deeper into the feelings within.
- If other feelings come up, also label them, “I accept this XXX (feeling)”.
- Keep accepting the feelings as they arise, until you feel a natural pause.
- Think of something that brings the feeling of love (or joy). Open to feel that feeling and expand it to fill the whole of your body, mind and heart.
- Get in touch with your core self, which holds all in acceptance.
Other ways to get in touch with your feelings:
- Talk with a healer, therapist, counsellor, or non-judgmental friend that can ‘hold space.’
- Dance or move your body to express your feelings.
- Art or creative therapy to process emotions.
- Be in Nature. Water is calming.
- Connect to your inner self through self-inquiry and meditation.
- Observe self-talk and change it.
- Explore! Where is the feeling held in the body? Does it have a shape? A colour? Accept it as it is.
- Imagine the feeling is surrounded by an accepting, soothing, pink light.
- Visualise a bright light in the center of your chest and expand it to fill you.
- Let go of the past. Forgive.
- Use energy healing & crystals to help harmonise and heal.
- Develop a healthy mindset.
- Focus on uplifting feelings like love, joy, peace, bliss. You have a choice.
- Develop self-love, self-compassion, self -respect.
- Feel gratitude each day.
Feelings are valid – not to be feared, judged or denied. They deserve the same acknowledgement, respect, love, and acceptance as anything else in your life.
Are you giving yourself permission to feel?
Picture Credit : Karina lago on Unsplash